In The Name Of Equality

As if the protests and the violence going on over gay marriage weren’t enough already…

I heard a whisper last year about some guy in New Jersey who’d supposedly sued Eharmony because the dating site did not cater to homosexuals.  I knew from the time I heard of the site that it didn’t; Clark Warren, the founder of the online company, specifically designed it to match couples looking not just for a fling or a tryst, but for marriage and a family.  The man is a renowned psychologist and designed the profile service to aid in compatibility.  As he is a Christian, though, and ten times published by Focus on the Family, he did not believe in allowing his company to cater to the gay community.

I read grumblings about this fact in a gay publication long ago (the name of which escapes me now).  An editorial writer griped about how companies were supposedly getting away with discrimination, and it just isn’t fair.  Well…I’ve just gotten confirmation via several different sites that the lawsuit rumor was true.  In 2005, a gay man named Eric McKinley filed a lawsuit against Eharmony on the basis that they had discriminated against him by refusing to post his ad for a gay partner.

Here’s what’s worse: Eharmony has settled, agreeing to pay $50,000 to the state of New Jersey for investigative/court costs, another $5,000 to McKinley, and they will, beginning next year, begin adding pictures of same-sex couples to their “diversity” page and offer a special service for potential gay customers.

“But Mel,” you say, “you’re gay!  Doesn’t this make you happy?”

No, it does not.  If Eharmony wanted to keep their service exclusive to heterosexual couples, whether I agree or not, it’s their right to do so according to the Constitution.  Hell, if Aryan Nation or the Black Panthers wanted to sponsor sites that promised to match couples only with their own race, I’d support that, too!  It’s their right to do so whether we like it or not.  We have a ton of websites of own that are exclusive to the gay community and finding a same-sex date, fling or long-term commitment.  Did we really have to go after one just because it’s popular?

What irritates me the most is that in the past couple of weeks, my biggest GLBT detractors have knocked down my arguments about gays suing churches to force them to perform ceremonies for gay couples.  Their argument has been that it would be unconstitutional to allow those types of lawsuits to win, thus it would never happen and the fears of that sort of thing happening in the event of the legalization of gay marriage are unfounded.

Think again, folks.  This proves that those fears are quite well-grounded.  It’s yet another prime example of true intolerance in action, and it’s nauseating.  McKinley’s was not the only lawsuit, either.  Several others are beginning to surface now that Eharmony has settled on the very first one.

I’m almost as disgusted with Eharmony for giving in as I am with the bozos on the bench who allowed these attacks on Constitutional rights to move forward in the courts and with the selfish twits who brought the lawsuits in the first place.  There are far bigger issues at stake here.  If we’re willing to attack basic freedoms, we don’t deserve them, either.

You cannot do whatever you want in the name of equality and find validation.


13 thoughts on “In The Name Of Equality

  1. The only plus here, if there are gays out there willing to pay to find quality companionship, I am all for it.

    But why didn’t Eric McKinley start up his own dating service for serious gays willing to fork over a fee for serious inquiries?

    But again, here we are telling free-market how to dictate. Of course, this is another form of socialism.

  2. I agree with you Mel. If you don’t like something don’t look at it/use it/view it/listen/patronize, etc. There are too many options/other avenues these days. And E-Harmony shouldn’t have caved. I don’t like where this is going.

  3. But being accused of racism, sexism, homophobia is really a big deal – I’m not surprised EHarmony caved, although I wish they hadn’t.

    It ruins someone’s career and life to have those accusations thrown, especially if they are not true. People will go out of their way to “prove” they are not anti-whatever they are accused of.

    The thing is, once the accusation is made, it’s treated as gospel truth. Period. No appeal. And I’m positive all sorts of activists are well and fully aware of that fact.

  4. Some food for thought – how does E-Harmony differ from a restaurant that refuses to serve a certain group of people? Isn’t this the same issue?

  5. Never mind, I figured it out on my own. If I go into a restaurant that only serves Chinese food, then it is pretty dumb to order a hamburger, fries and milshake because the restaurant does not serve those items.

    It’s even dumber of me to sue the restaurant for discrimination against people who like American style food.

    So, if a dating website wants to cater to a specific market of people, then it should be allowed to do that. This is no different then clothing stores that only sell children’s clothing or men’s clothing or car repair shops that only repair certain types of automobiles.

    I think I get it.

  6. I agree Mel. I heard this today and had the same thoughts on this being a private company. And why do gay people always do this type of thing. Start your own site that would be different from other gay dating sites in that it is specifically for people looking for long term partnerships instead of suing a company that most sane gays wouldn’t want to be a part of. This political correctness is killing our country!

  7. “And why do gay people always do this type of thing.”

    Some gay people. I don’t do this kind of thing. But since you asked. Mel said it best:

    “You cannot do whatever you want in the name of equality and find validation.”

    Mel is very correct.

  8. “A class-action lawsuit was inevitable. It was filed yesterday by a lesbian from (naturally) the San Francisco Bay Area. She claims that eHarmony’s no-gays policy is discriminatory under California law.”

    I open a clothing store because I want to sell clothes and make money. I want to make a lot of money. I want to get wealthy. I complete my market research. I get the pulse of hot fashion styles and trends. I decide the best way to make money is to sell stylish men’s clothing to obese guys. These guys might be chubby but damn it, I’ll make them look sharp. They have money to spend.

    So I open my store. I am catering to one type of customer – obese men. Isn’t that discrmination against everyone else?

    So, e-Harmony decides the best way to make money is to target straight men and women who are married minded. Tell what is wrong with that?

  9. Hey Mel! Was great to meet you this morning…and you sit right behind one of my favorite people of all time. 🙂

    One of the items that is ignored in all of the debate about eHarmony: Dr. Warren, as you mentioned, is a Christian. Anyone that has seen the commercials knows that his marketing employs a compatibility test…a test based on his knowledge of heterosexual couples, and probably also based on some of his religious beliefs.

    In one of his interviews talking about the agreement to make a site catering to non-heterosexuals, Dr. Warren stated that he didn’t cater to them because he knew nothing about compatibility in that area.

    Because he stuck to what he knew…he’s being fined and forced to make a website well out of his area of expertise. Nothing like living in a free country, eh?

    I love your blog…and will keep reading. See you soon!

  10. You’re always right on, Mel. The lawsuit was ridiculous and it’s sad that they caved, but understandable, I suppose.

    It tempts me to find a gay only matchmaking site and sue them for discriminating against me as a hetero married woman, just to make a point.

  11. Katie, I would actually encourage you to do exactly that. If I had the money to do it, I’d sue one of those gay sites myself on behalf of all the straight people they refuse to serve!

    It’s an absolute outrage.

  12. “Katie, I would actually encourage you to do exactly that. If I had the money to do it, I’d sue one of those gay sites myself on behalf of all the straight people they refuse to serve!

    It’s an absolute outrage.”

    Yes it is and it only confirms the fear of anti gay rights forces when they say we have an agenda.

    On a side note to all of that, e-harmony doesn’t have a very good legal defense. That case never would have made it past summary judgment. But I do understand e-harmony wanted this to go away too. It was a business decision on their part. All in all it ended up being legalized extortion.

  13. eHarmony also doesn’t cater to all strait people either. If you take the free personality profile and they find that due to how they run the matching that they cannot match you with anyone they will refuse to give you service.

    Here is part of the message you will get with my highlights in bold:

    “eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process…

    Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.”

    I know this because I did it the one day as an experiment.

    I do agree that someone should sue the gay dating sites for the same thing until people wake up. I wish that eharmony had had the backbone to take it to court though it would have fixed this mess right up. Really though they have website that cater to everything. gay, strait, black, nerds, the military, what was the real problem with eHarmony?

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