Suggestions of a New Banner?

Guys, it’s no secret that I have loved Sarah Palin since her arrival in November.  I thought she was cool with her no-nonsense persona and loved that her family and life were really very similar to that of the rest of the nation.  Even after the election, the more liberals continue to call her “stupid” or “corrupt,” the adjectives seemed to make me love her even more – seeings as what some of those same people say about Reagan to this day.

My problem is with Bristol – her daughter.  I have no problem ridding the Republican party of phony conservatives like John McCain or any of the members of Congress who voted “yes” to any part of Obama’s spendorama.

Bristol and the father of her child I gather are officially announcing a split.  No marriage and no two-parent home for the baby they just brought into the world.

This girl (Bristol) was raised by two loving parents and is now purposely subjecting a child to a life without a permanent father figure.  I cannot support this and will not even though her mother is the best thing for our country in my eyes.

The question is, where does this leave Sarah?  Of course Bristol is an adult now.  Is Sarah obligated to make a statement on this?  Or is this still just a private family matter?

Knowing what single motherhood has done to this country in terms of crime and poverty, it seems to me that issues which start out as “private family matters” become public matters when someone is victim of a crime committed by a child raised without a strong father or our tax dollars are raised to support children who are being raised by single mothers without educations or careers.

I’ve seen it first-hand and I’ve seen it abroad.  Kids raised without dads have a 50-times higher rate of turning out to be crappy adults that the rest of us have to put up with forever.  I wouldn’t have a problem with “private family matters” if the troubles that come out of the situations stayed within the families as well.  But frankly, it doesn’t.

The governor should encourage her to put that kid up for adoption at once, should adopt the child herself to be raised by her and Todd, or should encourage Bristol to get over herself and to marry the guy she once loved enough to make a baby with. 

This child deserves a dad who is not around only on the weekends.

Palin’s daughter Bristol splits from fiance

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28 thoughts on “Suggestions of a New Banner?

  1. I’m torn on this one. On the one hand – I’ve gotta say I could have seen this one coming a mile away. Levi didn’t seem like the most… steady of people. And from all accounts the press hounding him led to him losing his first apprenticeship and a lot of bad blood in the relationship.

    It’s possible (although I’m thinking their relationship was headed that way anyway) that the press was the straw that broke the camel’s back in a relationship that was rocky to begin with.

    I can’t, however, support your call for Bristol to give up her baby NOW – four months down the road. Speaking as a mother here, it’s one thing to go through the absolute devastation of giving a child up for adoption when they are born – but after you’ve been caring for them, bonding with them, breastfeeding them, etc for four months? Near impossible unless you are at the verge of breakdown. And her family has been so supportive that she does not seem to be at the verge of breakdown.

    With many things in life, there are no great answers to this one. The situation started out bad and got worse, and unfortunately a parent – NO parent – really can’t control their child – particularly once the child realizes that their parent can’t control them (I went through that realization with my teenager and it’s a tough one).

    The fact that this happened so far after the election, though, rather than right after McCain lost, does make it seem like the Palin’s tried their best to find a solution.

    I’m disappointed. But I also recognize the problems and obstacles of being a teen parent – my first was born my senior year in high school. So I’m not disillusioned.

  2. I agree a father and mother should be in the picture full time. We also have to make the best of what we have.

    My counsin got pregnant at 16. Her boyfriend did the deed with her. Today she is an RN. Her child’s father is an Engineer. How did this happen?

    My counsin’s parents and her boyfriend’s parents stepped up and made this a team effort. Their teenage kids needed to finish high school and in this case college. It took the six of them all doing their part because the situation demanded it. I know this smacks of It Takes a Village. But it is not because everyone in this mix chose their position.

    If the ends justify the means, then my cousin, her daughter and her daughter’s father did well. My cousin and her boyfriend never married each other. But, they are in their child’s life with shared custody and the whole nine yards.

    As for what Gov. Palin has to say about her daughter, that’s her private business. This whole teenage pregnancy thing never should have been in the news to begin with. Sorry, but from the get go that was a private matter. Gov. Palin ran for VP. Bristol Palin did not.

  3. The regulars here all know what I do for a living, and they all know that I see this sort of thing up-close and personal on a regular basis. And I agree to a point that single parents have been a definite cause of a great many societal ills.

    One thing I’ve noticed, though, is that when single parents have the backing of their families the way the Palins have obviously supported Bristol, things become very different. Bristol has what a lot of single mothers I’ve seen don’t have–that’s a family that’s willing to step up and help her when she needs it most. And they have the resources to give both Bristol and her child opportunities that a lot of other single moms don’t have.

    To be sure, that kid may grow up with some issues because dad wasn’t around all the time. If it were any other family, one that refused to accept the situation (as I have seen more times than I care to remember, including one at around oh-dark-thirty this morning), I would certainly say the child should be given up.

    But I’m less wary of this situation because I’ve seen the way the Palins are with each other. And I think this situation is a fantastic learning experience for Bristol’s younger siblings.

  4. And I think this situation is a fantastic learning experience for Bristol’s younger siblings.

    My younger siblings did NOT get pregnant/get anyone pregnant before marriage or in their teens!

    I’d say they learned!

  5. “To be sure, that kid may grow up with some issues because dad wasn’t around all the time. ”

    I think the kid will have fewer issues vs. having two parents who are married to each other and do not wish to be. It is very common for the kids to wrongly blame themselves when their parents can’t get along.

  6. True, John. I can say that my parents’ inability to get along much of the time caused a number of issues in our family that continue to this day.

  7. “True, John. I can say that my parents’ inability to get along much of the time caused a number of issues in our family that continue to this day.”

    Divorce or not staying in a relationship with someone can be a an imperfect solution to an imperfect problem.

    My cousin and the father of her child get along well. But being married to each other wasn’t going to work. So why risk ruining a workable relationship. Things with them could be a lot worse.

  8. John –

    I disagree that it’s “private business” with regard to the fact that society puts up with what products that single-motherhood produces. If the owner of the “private business” were the only person affected by the “private business,” then I’d have no problem with it.

    The fact is, after 30 years of single mothers increasing and tripling and the research we now have showing what it has done to innocent people and the taxpayers over the years – COUPLED with the fact that Governor Palin requests our support for a Government seat that promotes what’s best for all of us, then yes – there is a further obligation on her behalf.

    Now, perhaps Mel is correct. Luckily, Bristol’s parents are still young and decent people. Perhaps the child’s father figure will be Grandpa Todd. That’s fine with me.

    But when you have a job and you are placed their by the people and earning money provided by other taxpayers, you have the obligation to steer your child ahead appropriately and an obligation to your consituents.

  9. Yes, when single parenthood becomes a burden on society, I agree it should cease to be a private matter. The problems come in when you start talking about kids’ rights. There’s not a CPS agency in the whole of the United States that will make that info public because they are trying to protect the kids.

    Another quandary we find ourselves in with this battle is freedom. According to the Constitution, everyone has the right to be stupid, so to speak. It’s impossible to legislate against stupidity. Now, it can be argued that the welfare of the child should be first and foremost, and in many cases adoption by two-parent families would be best. But then you have to argue against hordes of psychologists who say being raised by a biological parent is preferrable.

    Of course, I think it might help if states weren’t allowed to ban healthy homosexual couples from adopting, but I’m going to get off my philosophical soapbox and see what happens.

    I’m a little punchy from lack of sleep. Can you tell?

  10. Steve, I agree with you in theory. But
    you have the obligation to steer your child ahead appropriately and an obligation to your consituents.

    Have you ever tried to steer a teenager? Dear Lord in Heaven. The laws are seriously stacked against parents who try to, you know, parent.

    When your child figures out that there really isn’t anything you can do to them, you lose control. And you can’t gain it back. Even good parents have children who strain and chomp and figure that fact out early. And then… what? You count down the time until the kid is 18 and you can toss them out to figure some consequences on their own.

    And hope to GOD that they learn before something really bad happens. But truly, there’s only so much a parent can do.

  11. Steve, dude. I am with you on one thing. Change the banner. I love Sarah, but I think we need to move on. We’ve already discussed this. I just can’t come up with anything better. I’ve tried, but my attempts at graphic arts have failed.

    Second, Bristol can keep her kid. She has the loving support of her mom and dad. I can’t even imagine why she would give her baby up for adoption. Whoa!

    I’m thinking you’re being on the harsh side here. If she loves that baby and is ready to be a good mom, go for it. We don’t know what happened with her and Levi. But, for all we know, she had little control over the circumstances. Does that make her a bad mom? Should she have to give up her child because the boy ditched her?

    No way.

  12. Personally, I’m not sure Levi was quite suited for fatherhood anyway. Was it his mother or his aunt arrested on drug charges?

    It’s entirely possible that Sarah and Todd decided that they would be better role models and had something to say in Levi and Bristol splitting up. If it had been my family, and one of my siblings needed this kind of support, my parents (were they still together) would have insisted on having some say in whether the guy stayed in the picture or not if they felt he was a poor role model.

  13. I’m not interested in Bristol’s feelings. I am not suggesting that Bristol’s baby be given to a two-parent home to PUNISH Bristol.

    I am suggesting giving the baby up for adoption because it’s what’s right for the baby.

    At a crossroads when we are choosing between the feelings of the adult versus what is right for the baby, I am sorry, but we must choose in favor of the most vulnerable creature.

    I have a hard time accepting so easily. This culture has created people so afraid of hurting others’ feelings that we are afraid of coming out and saying what it is we know is the right thing.

    It’s what’s sending this countryinto such trouble.

    I can hope for the best for her. But I do not accept the fact that her kid may grow up without a dad all while she has the luxury of having a choice about it.

    What the kid needs is 50-times more important than how good she feels about it.

  14. “It’s entirely possible that Sarah and Todd decided that they would be better role models and had something to say in Levi and Bristol splitting up.”

    That’s very true. I think Sarah should say that because I absolutely agree with that position and it would be rational.

    But as an elected person we look up to, she does have to obligation to explain.

  15. “But when you have a job and you are placed their by the people and earning money provided by other taxpayers, you have the obligation to steer your child ahead appropriately and an obligation to your consituents.”

    I politely have the opposite view. If my mom or dad decides to run for public office, then my life is out of bounds. When I was a teenager, I did from time to time drink alcohol. That was illegal.

    If my dad was running for Mayor and advocating Just Say No while I am having a six pack every other Saturday, then that situation is between him, my mom and me.

    If I were to get arrested for underage drinking then my privacy is out the window to a certain degree. As juvenile the police and courts can’t release my name. But if I am seen being taken into custody by the pollice, then that is public knowledge. Until that happens if it all, the whole matter is out of bounds.

    I do agree it would be my father’s obligation to live up to what he espouses and teach such values to me. But I too have free will. As Air Force Wife pointed out, a parent can’t control his or her child.

  16. “When your child figures out that there really isn’t anything you can do to them, you lose control. And you can’t gain it back. ”

    With all due respect here AFW, what does that mean? I am curious.

    When I broke the rules growing up, I was punished. I was not abused. I remember being grounded. I remember getting spanked. I sure remember having to be an Acolyte at church for two years!!! LOL.

    Now I suppose my parents could have grounded me, I could have ignored that, and went and did whatever I felt like doing. Is that what you mean by having no control?

  17. Steve, I sound pretty mean myself. Sometimes, though, I DO intend to sound like a jerk, but it’s usually when one of our liberal trolls is being a cad.

    John, punishment or no, there comes a certain point where a kid realizes that mom and dad can’t stop them from doing certain things and making certain choices. Much like you drinking underage, teenagers eventually figure out that mom and dad aren’t gods. They know they may have consequences when they get home, but they can still do things they know mom and dad don’t want them doing.

    That’s what she’s talking about. In all honesty, parents don’t have control; all they can do is try to steer their kids in the direction they should go in and hope it sinks in. Eventually, though, there are some lessons that must be learned the hard way.

  18. Mel, that is correct, but there’s also a bit more to it that is directly related to parenting in today’s world.

    I have always lived in fear of disappointing my father and my grandfather – but in regards to my mother’s control of me as a child it was definitely fear based (I don’t say that in a bad way – I was afraid of the consequences, not the person). I knew that if I mouthed off in a nasty way, my mouth would be the thing that took the punishment (once again, it most certainly was NOT beating – it was an appropriate correction. She never gave me a concussion or a fat lip or anything like that. I never questioned whether it was appropriate and I do not now) and it would be immediate. If I had so much as feinted towards my mother, she would have taken me down and hog tied me. And I would have deserved it.

    That knowledge of consequences for my actions taught me right from wrong. Now, if you correct your child physically – even with a completely legal spanking – you’re looking at having Social Services giving you a proctology exam to look for abuse. When it comes to kids and complaints, you are guilty and never proven innocent (just possibly not guilty).

    Once a child learns that they can run out and call the cops to declare they are abused, there is nothing else you can do. It’s a completely horrible situation and makes parents responsible for a child’s behavior while not allowing them to try and improve that behavior.

    If you ask me, Social Services and their ridiculous restraints on Middle Class parents are directly responsible for many of the endemic problems in middle class children today.

  19. “Eventually, though, there are some lessons that must be learned the hard way.”

    Yeah like throwing water balloons at school buses, getting caught, and being forced to Acolyte in church for two years!!! LOL. I must say, I was damn good at both!!!

  20. AFW, I agree completely. I’ve been to calls of domestic violence and child abuse that were total BS. I’ve had kids tell me, “my parents abuse me, they get mad at me for the stupidest things!” Then I find out that “abuse” to them was being grounded and not being allowed to have their cell phone, TV, XBox or laptop for a week. Boo-freakin’-hoo.

    When I was a kid, my parents used to ground me FROM my room. That way, they could watch every little thing I did. If they hadn’t done that, I’d have been perfectly happy to stay in my room for the rest of my life.

    John…somehow I knew you had horns holding up your halo. 😉

  21. “John…somehow I knew you had horns holding up your halo. ”

    Girlfriend, one of the advantages of turning 40 plus and having both parents alive and well is you can tell them about all of the stuff you never got caught doing!!!!

  22. Yeah, my dad did that when I was younger while we were at my grandmother’s house for Christmas. Nana looked him dead in the eye and said, “Mark, you are NOT too big for me to turn over my knee and spank you.”

    It was the only time in my life I ever saw my father shut up so fast!

  23. “BONESMOKER”; whomever he (she) is, I am certain is more qualified than B. Hussein Obama.

    You probably shouldn’t be bringing up Clinton interns.

  24. I’m disappointed they broke up, too, but I don’t think giving the baby up for adoption now would be best for him. He’s already bonded to his mother and to tear him away from her would just be cruel, and possibly even damaging. People grossly underestimate the strength of the mother/infant bond, especially for the baby. Bristol has a good family and I’m sure the father will be around, and they might even get back together (it sounds like he wants to).

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