I remember well when Madonna appeared onstage with Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears at the MTV Video Music Awards. At one point in the performance, Madonna turned and did a brief lip-lock with Spears. It was the kiss seen ’round the world, and everyone talked about it for months. It still gets more hits online than any other footage from the VMA’s.

I didn’t like it because neither of the women involved were lesbians and what they did was a blatant attempt at shock value. My life, who I am, is not political clout. I’m not here for someone else’s entertainment. The Madonna/Britney moment was deeply insulting to me because of the meaning behind it.

On Sunday night, Adam Lambert–the runner-up from the last season of American Idol–performed at the American Music Awards and turned in the raciest performance in the award ceremonies’ history. He didn’t just kiss a male dancer. He fondled one and ground his crotch on the face of another. Now Good Morning America has cancelled his scheduled performance, and the cancellation is making headlines. I can already hear the arguments coming from the gay-rights elite: “he was doing what’s natural to him! How dare you judge him! HOMOPHOBIA!!!”

I am thoroughly disgusted by the way homosexuality has been used as entertainment lately. I have no problem with someone being gay; I’m a lesbian myself and I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. I don’t sleep around, I don’t use drugs, and I’m not an alcoholic. I also don’t go to gay pride events very often because what Adam Lambert did is normal at those things. I’ve seen worse in both Phoenix and my hometown of Houston. I saw way worse in San Diego and Los Angeles the year I went to those.

Gay pride parades and festivals used to be about showing the world that we’re here. It was originally about having no fear of what others could do to us during a time when the mere mention of gay sex was a crime. Now it’s about shocking everyone to the point that we try to numb their senses. It’s become a vindictive thing, and that’s not what pride was meant to be.

I believe with all my heart that Adam Lambert meant to do exactly that–shock the entire country. I’m not okay with that. None of us should be. What happened to simply being allowed to live normal, healthy lives with the people that we love? When did that fall by the wayside?

We’re doing more damage than we realize by behaving in this fashion. Shocking the people we disagree with is not going to get us what we want; it’s only going to push us further from it. Like it or not, there’s a large portion of our society–both Republican and Democrat–who don’t like brazen displays of sexuality. Hell, there are interracial couples who openly voted against Prop 8 in California because they believe homosexuality to be wrong. Do you think this behavior is winning their hearts?

I wish CBS’s Early Show would cancel him, too, but they won’t. They’ve already announced that he’s still going to perform. I had considered buying his album, but now I won’t give him a penny of my money. Every single gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered person should be every bit as offended by this display as we seem to be by those who point to it as a sign of sickness. Like me and my significant other, what you do at home is YOUR business.

Being indecent is not going to win the war. The next time you want to make a show solely for shock value, ask yourself this: how often have I ever seen a straight performer doing this onstage?

If you can’t remember, chances are it’s a bad idea. If your talent can’t get people’s attention on its own, that’s your problem.


6 thoughts on “Indecent

  1. “I saw way worse in San Diego and Los Angeles the year I went to those.”

    From your lips to God’s ears.

    The San Francisco Parade would complete the set you’ve accumulated city by city. The San Francisco Parade is a classic example of the Gay Minstrel Show at it pinnacle. You name the sterotype and we do a great job of perpetuating it.

    I have not attended since 1994 and in 2002 my gay friendly boss asked if I went to the parade. He asked me the Monday after the parade. I told him I did not go because I’ve been to it before and it gets old.

    He said to me, “I figured you weren’t there because you don’t strike me as someone who is sleazy and vile.”

    I asked him if that was his opinion of gays in general and he told me that was his opinion of ones who participate in that parade and those who watch that parade.

    I thought to myself how sad it was that my boss got that message from the parade.

  2. That is sad, and unfortunately, he’s one of many who feels that way. That’s not what this movement was ever supposed to be. Folks I used to go to church with years ago are actually surprised when I say things like this, because they automatically assume that because I’m gay, this is what I’m into.

    They’re surprised when they find that I don’t bring a new girl home every night. They’re surprised when I tell them that I’m not interested in women who also sleep with men, and that I’m not attracted in the least to straight women (celebrities being the only exception). I’ve actually had them act strangely around me and later say, “well, I didn’t want you to get the wrong impression, because I’m not bi-curious…”

    That offends me. They don’t understand why until I tell them, but it offends me. They get the wrong impression from crap like this and it’s getting under my skin in a huge way.

  3. Quite apart from the impression it leaves on the hetero majority — what about the impression it leaves on teenage homos?

    I sure as heck wasn’t looking for crotch-grinding pop stars or fake-tan “gymboiz” on rainbow-floats or leathermen in cock-leashes as my role-models, when I was 15 years old and trying to figure out the implications of the fact that my dick was ONLY interested in men.

  4. Yeah, apparently Lambert appeared on The Early Show today and did exactly what I anticipated: he bitched about the other performers and complained that he was being singled out for being gay.

    I’m sorry, but Lady Gaga smashing whiskey bottles doesn’t come close to simulating oral sex onstage. Nor does Janet Jackson grabbing a male dancer’s crotch, though that was too far also.

    Lambert…you might not be a babysitter, but I’m pretty sure you know better than to do what you did. You weren’t performing at a gay strip club. It was a music awards show on national television. Grow the hell up, you freakin’ brat.

  5. “Quite apart from the impression it leaves on the hetero majority — what about the impression it leaves on teenage homos? ”

    I agree. I don’t know what is worse:

    Adam Lambert and his sleaze or Clay Aiken lying about being gay? Some role models eh?

    This is a typical day for me:

    I get up at 6:30AM. I shower and shave. I get ready for work. I have a bite to eat and brush my teeth. I catch the tail end of first hour of The Today Show and then head for work.

    I work 8:30 to 5PM. The job is exciting enough and it pays the bills.

    After work I head over to the grocery to buy dinner. I go home, cook it up, and eat it. I’ll watch some TV until about 9PM, read for an hour and then it is lights out.

    That’s a typical day for me.

  6. I think a world of harm is created by those who throw their private behavior in the face of others.

    I love to kiss. I’m very fond of sex.

    I never want to see anyone else kissing or having sex. And I’ve always felt this way.

    We don’t invite everyone into our toilet or shower. We don’t ask to see people shaving their legs, clipping toe nails, or many other things that are ment to be between a person and perhaps one other person….maybe.

    There is no advantage to placing the emphasis on Sex for homosexuals.

    We are more about relationships, just like all of the rest of the society that we are offending by not being discrete about our private behavior.

    If being gay is just about sex…then we really missed the boat on being human.

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