Now that your humble lil’ blogger is feeling better, back to news you can really use…
Obama kept his promise to save jobs this week as General Motors announced that hundreds of laid-off workers would be called back to work thanks to the government’s investment in the company. American taste for gas-guzzling SUV’s has not abated, and GM dealerships are complaining that they can’t keep the GM Equinoxes and Terrains in stock. In response, GM added new equipment and recalled 600 laid-off employees to work at the auto making factories in…Ingersoll and Oshawa, Ontario, Canada.
In related news, Al Gore threw a shoe at the news that US citizens still loved their trucks.
Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu flew to Washington, D.C. for a meeting with President Obama that did not go as expected. After a visit from VP Joe “This is a Big Effing Deal” Biden went sour on the announcement that Israel would expand a housing settlement in East Jerusalem, Netanyahu hopped a plane to the White House to attempt to soothe tensions. They only met briefly, however, before Barack – taking a page from Malia and Sasha – stormed out of the meeting after just an hour to dine by himself. They met again in the Oval Office for an hour after the man-date quarrel before Netanyahu and his entourage opted to fly back to Israel rather than be eavesdropped on through a White House phone line. Robert Gibbs later offered his ear-piercing rendition of “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To.”
Reality struck again for proponents of the Democrat health care reform bill. Telecommunication giant AT&T announced a $1B expense in the first quarter thanks to the new law, while other companies such as Caterpillar, Deere & Co. and Verizon also announced losses in the tens of millions thanks in part to the loss of federal subsidies for the provision of drug benefits for retirees. Changes to existing health care plans are also to blame (despite the desires of many citizens, health plans will now be required to cover everything from maternity to mental health to alcohol and drug addiction treatment). Robert Gibbs put his fingers in his ears and said, “not listening!”
Finally, the Hypocrite of the Week is Montana Senator Max Baucus, who has served in the US senate nearly as long as I’ve been alive. During celebrations for the passage of the massive health care bill, Baucus sang the praises of the moral fortitude of the legislation, claiming that it would “address the mal-distribution of income in America.” Baucus, who has pulled a six-figure income as a Senator since 1980, has consistently voted for tax cuts and voted to end the federal estate tax. He had no comment on the disparity between his own income and that of his constituents.