Daily News Shots, 04/02/2010

After your humble lil’ blogger pranked everyone possible yesterday (red colored tape over the sensor on the mouse, replacing a monitor cord with one that didn’t work, putting a few cubes of ice in one guy’s boots, putting another guy in c-spine while he slept…nothing much!), I’m back at it…

Glendale, California city councilman John Drayman is irate about police putting citizen lives in jeopardy. Reports that a police sting on motorists not following city laws regarding stopping for pedestrians in crosswalks wasn’t what angered him…it was the police officer dressed in a bunny suit posing as the pedestrian. According to reports, Drayman characterized the sting as “breathtakingly dangerous” and “a poor use of city resources.” Motorists who were too busy to look up from their cell phones to see the furry pink critter wannabe waited in stunned silence in anticipation of their tickets being rescinded. The officer, now wearing simple shorts and a t-shirt, isn’t having nearly as much fun.

Dr. Jack Cassell, a urologist in Mount Dora, Florida, is taking heat from liberals for a sign on his office door: “If you voted for Obama…seek urologic care elsewhere. Changes to your health care begin right now, not in four years.” A patient who did not wish to be interviewed told a friend who sent her daughter to take a picture of the sign and the picture ended up in the news. While Dr. Cassell is insisting that he won’t turn away any patient seeking care and is just “making a point”, one patient identified only as “Grayson” said, “I’m disgusted. Maybe he thinks the Hippocratic Oath says, ‘do no good.’ If this is the face of the right wing in America, it’s the face of cruelty…Why don’t they change the name of the Republican Party to the Sore Loser Party?”

In other news, Democrats still bitter over Al Gore’s loss to George W. Bush in the 2000 elections continue to insist that Bush was never elected and, in fact, Gore should have been president. They also continue to lambast military leaders for stifling soldiers’ blogs about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, citing an infringement of the First Amendment. No word on whether Grayson understands that this right covers doctors as well.

In Cave Creek, Arizona, two students at Cactus Shadows High School went to the school nurse complaining that they “felt strange”. The nurse detected an elevated heart rate in both boys and called for them to be transported to a hospital where THC was found in their systems and they said they’d eaten birthday cake earlier in the day. 18-year-old John Stropko admitted to providing the drugged goodies to his entire class. No comment was made on whether the now-adult considered the potential fallout of bringing a cake laced with marijuana to classmates at school.

Finally, Houston mayor Annise Parker has updated a 12-year-old city nondiscrimination law to include “gender identity” among the classes protected by the policy which previously included race, religion, disability, gender and sexual orientation. The new provisions include allowing a person whose gender identity runs counter to their biological identity to use the latrine of their choice without requiring them to ask permission to do so of a supervisor. Straight men all over the city silently rejoiced and tried to figure out ways to cross-dress and get into women’s restrooms without losing their cherished manhood.

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2 thoughts on “Daily News Shots, 04/02/2010

  1. Dr. Jack Cassell, a urologist in Mount Dora, Florida, is taking heat from liberals for a sign on his office door: “If you voted for Obama…seek urologic care elsewhere. Changes to your health care begin right now, not in four years.”

    Dear Dr. Jack:

    You must treat Obama voters because they voted for him and now they are totally pissed off at what they’ve done. So, since you are a urologist, you are totally equipped to help these people!

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