I’m not much of an “organized religion” lover. But, I just thought I’d have a little fun with this one! Ann Coulter once said, “On the seventh day, God rested and liberals schemed.” Below is the proof:
The Ten Commandments
1. I am the Lord your God.
Liberal Version: “I am God. That’s where all that nifty collectivism stuff comes from. Give me enough political power, seven days and I can create the Heavens and the Earth too!”
2. You shall have no other Gods before me.
Liberal Version: “…what? You didn’t see No. 1?”
3. Do not take the name of the Lord in vain.
Liberal Version: “God? He’s such a Nazi…”
4. Remember the Sabbath Day and keep it holy.
Liberal Version: “I didn’t say you could stop working–I need more money to redistribute! Back to the grindstone with you!”
5. Honor your father and mother.
Liberal Version: “Don’t listen to your parents.”~Al Gore
6. You shall not murder.
Liberal Version: “Self-defense? What’s that? You say there’s a difference between self-defense and murder? I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you! La, la, la, la, laaaaaa….”
7. You shall not commit adultery.
Liberal Version: “My gorgeous wife–do you no how much I love making love to you? Oh, and you too Sarah…better get over here and join us on the bed…your husband will be home in an hour.”
8. You shall not steal.
Liberal Version: “Taxes isn’t stealing because the government does it! And we all know–governments don’t steal.”
9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
Liberal Version: “Hate-monger. Racist. Nazi. War-monger. Conservatives want women and children to die.”
10. You shall not covet anything that belongs to your neighbor.
Liberal Version: “You have too much.” [covet] “You have too little.” [covet] “And I’m the only one intelligent enough to know how to divide it between the two of you.” [steal AND covet]
And that, boys and girls, is your church lesson for the day!